


5 times JUMP was mistaken for an all-girl band

by alchemicink



Series: 5 Times... [12]
Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-02-03 01:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1725743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemicink/pseuds/alchemicink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Featuring Daiki's perm, some kilts, and several cases of mistaken identity. And remember: never ever make a bet with Yabu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 times JUMP was mistaken for an all-girl band

**Author's Note:**

> The standard disclaimer: This story isn't meant to be an accurate representation of the real people. It's just for fun! Also, I know almost next to nothing about Japanese girl groups. Sorry! 
> 
> (In other news, I will be taking a brief break from writing 5 Times... in order to work on some fun one-shots and my poor neglected multi-chapter fic! Just a heads up for anyone who wants to know.)

**1st time:**  
Yamada Ryosuke was not exactly fond of family reunions because it usually meant hours of talking to elderly distant relatives who kept saying they only remembered him when he wore diapers. Thankfully, his family only had these sorts of gatherings every five years or so, and there was free food which he couldn’t complain about. 

“Come say hello,” Mrs. Yamada insisted and dragged Ryosuke over to see his 90 year old great aunt who could only see out of one eye and couldn’t remember what day of the week it was. Ryosuke considered that was a fair trade, however, since _he_ couldn’t actually remember Great Aunt’s name. 

“Remember Ryosuke?” Mrs. Yamada asked. “The one in the family who sings.” 

Great Aunt squinted at him as she tried to recall whether she knew his face or not. Finally, Mrs. Yamada gave up and pulled out a picture of JUMP that she’d been showing to relatives all day long. 

“See? This is Ryosuke’s band.”

Great Aunt looked at the photo and then at Ryosuke and then back at the photo again. She frowned. “Why aren’t you girls wearing dresses?” she asked through her dentures. Mrs. Yamada laughed while Ryosuke looked horrified. Great Aunt continued, “Is this that Morning Musume band I keep hearing all about?” 

“We’re a _boy_ band,” Ryosuke insisted, but Great Aunt wasn’t paying attention. She was still scrutinizing the photograph. 

“I like this girl’s perm,” she said, pointing to Daiki. 

 

**2nd time:**  
Dressed in snazzy white bedazzled suits, JUMP stood together on a makeshift stage to promote their latest single release. It was rare of them to make an unscheduled appearance anywhere, so this was fun to see the group of fans and random people who had gathered to see what was going on. 

After it was over, JUMP was getting ready to leave and they noticed a group of foreigners walking nearby. “Is that Girls’ Generation?” one of them asked.

“Where?” Yamada said, turning to look hopefully over his shoulder in a flash. 

“Um,” Keito began, “I think they’re talking about us.” 

Takaki scratched his head in confusion. “That makes no sense.”

“Well, there are nine of us and nine of them,” Daiki pointed out.

“We aren’t even Korean!” Hikaru exclaimed. 

“Or girls!” Inoo added. 

Yuto just waved and grinned to the curious foreigners and said in English, “ _Yes Girls’ Generation. No pictures please._ ” 

JUMP collectively face-palmed. 

 

**3rd time:**  
“I don’t understand the concept of this photoshoot,” Yabu complained. “I mean, why are we wearing kilts?!” He looked at the plaid fabric in the mirror. He was afraid the staff was going to give them a set of bagpipes next. 

“We’re learning about other cultures,” Chinen explained. He actually seemed to like his kilt a lot. 

“We could just ask Keito all about kilts since he lived abroad,” Yuto said.

Keito rolled his eyes. “Kilts are Scottish and I lived in England,” he said. But, of course, no one was listening to him. 

There was a three-year-old kid nearby, the son of one of the photographers, and he was staring at the group. “AKB!” he shouted happily after a few minutes. “AKB!”

“…Does the kid think we are AKB48?”

“We _are_ wearing skirts,” Inoo said with an annoyed sigh.

“They’re not skirts, they’re kilts!” Hikaru exclaimed. “It’s traditional Scottish menswear!” 

“Who cares what they are!” Yamada shouted over everyone. “We look damn pretty in them.” 

 

**4th time:**  
JUMP waited in the _Music Station_ green room for their cue to go on stage and perform. They were dressed in some brightly colored outfits similar to what they wore for the _Magic Power_ single. A few of them were practicing the dance steps but mostly everyone else was just waiting around and chatting.

Suddenly, a staff member stuck his head in the door and shouted, “MomoClo on stage in three minutes.”

The staff member disappeared as quickly as he appeared and JUMP exchanged confused looks with each other.

“Did he think we’re MomoClo?” Inoo asked.

“Maybe he wasn’t wearing his contacts today?” Chinen suggested. 

“We _are_ wearing some bright outfits which I suppose could be confused for the kind of stuff MomoClo wears… from a distance. If you squint. And are really drunk,” Hikaru said. 

“And Yamada _is_ wearing lip gloss,” Daiki said, and then winced as Yamada elbowed him really hard.

“It’s chapstick!” Yamada exclaimed.

Yuto, who had been in the bathroom at the time, walked back into the room and said “Hey, did you guys know there’s a sign on the door that says _Momoiro Clover Z_? Isn’t that weird?” 

“…Well, somebody’s gonna get fired today,” Takaki said. And then the rest of the group went back to chatting and practicing their dance. 

 

**5th time:**  
“I warned you guys, didn’t I?” Hikaru said as he adjusted his wig. “I told you, never make a bet with Yabu.” 

Takaki frowned as he helped Inoo zip up his dress. “Yeah, yeah, we were dumb and lost a bet with Yabu,” he said. “But I don’t understand why you have to dress up as a girl too.”

Hikaru sighed and borrowed Yamada’s lipstick. “I’m being blackmailed,” he answered cryptically. 

“Is he blackmailing you about the time you set those newspapers on fire?” Daiki asked. “Because we already know about that.”

“Oh really?” Hikaru said, looking pleased. He took his wig and dress off. “See you all later then.”

“Traitor!” Yuto called out as Hikaru left the dressing room. He was going to chase after him but after two and a half steps, he realized that he couldn’t run in high heels. 

“Alright guys, let’s do this!” Chinen said with his fist clenched in a determined pose. “The sooner we get this over with, the better. This wig is itchy.”

After another twenty minutes, JUMP (minus Hikaru who had abandoned them) was finally sufficiently dressed in drag and ready to troll whoever they came across first. They were in the NHK building to film _Shounen Club_ later, but they couldn’t seem to find anyone when they wandered the hallways. After an hour of listening to Chinen complain about his wig (and also listen to Daiki brag that he didn’t need a wig because of his magnificent perm), JUMP had wandered onto the stage in the main hall since no one was using it. Somebody started humming a tune and then soon after that the group was dancing around together, seeing how well they could do the moves in dresses.

“Who’s that?” a voice asked from the other side of the room.

“Berryz Koubou? Fairies? Kyary Pamyu Pamyu and her backup dancers?” someone else guessed.

“Definitely some girl group,” another voice chimed in.

“But weren’t we supposed to film for _Shounen Club_ today?”

“Hey, what’re you doing on the stage?” one of the bolder voices called out.

JUMP paused in their dancing and turned around to see a group of juniors staring at them. 

“Hello boys!” Yuto said in the girliest voice he could muster up. (Unfortunately, he just sounded like a drag queen who’d been smoking his whole life.)

“Oh my gosh, it’s JUMP!” someone exclaimed. 

“Lost a bet to Yabu again?”

The group nodded. Having lost interest now that the mystery was solved, the juniors left for the dressing room and JUMP had the stage to themselves again. 

“So…” Yamada began, “let’s take the dance from the top again?” 

(Meanwhile, Yabu was off somewhere else in the building playing video games and had completely forgotten all about the bet.)


End file.
